Bullying and Peer Pressure
Childine: 0800 085 2219
www.nspcc.org.uk|
or tel 0808 800 5000
One Life: 0800 110 100
www.dfee.gov.uk/bullying|
Bully Free Zone:
tel; 01204 454958 or
www.bullyfreezone.co.uk|
Master Jo Draper how bullying affected me and my life
Jo Draper is a 4th Dan in Taekwondo, she is currently the Chungdokwan British National Coach and the Chief Instructor for the Welsh WTF Taekwondo Association. Jo was previously British Champion, competing over a period of 14 years for the British Team.
" I started Taekwondo when I was nine years old in 1981, joining a local class in Liverpool. This was in response to being bullied at school. The bullying I had experienced had been going on over a period of two years. My clothes didn't fit and my overall appearance was judged by other children even at this young age. The form of bullying that I received was physical and mental. I was a quiet child and lacked self-confidence and was desperately unhappy in school, my performance at school suffered and I was identified as a child with learning difficulties. I started Taekwondo quite simply to help me defend myself but what it did went beyond this
Four years later I was the youngest female 1st Dan black belt in England and was competing regularly in sparring competitions throughout the U.K. At the age of 15 years I had become British Champion. However, more importantly I had developed into a confident, self-assured, lively young person who was no longer pushed around or the butt of people's jokes. This is totally attributable to Taekwondo.
Taekwondo had become more than an interest outside school hours, it became an integral part of my life, I grew up with selfconfidence, fitness and agility that enabled me to excel in other sports. I developed self-discipline and respect for all. It gave me the belief that I could achieve whatever I set my mind on. Therefore, from a child aged 9 who was identified in school as having learning difficulties, I went on to excel and attend Cardiff University in 1990, subsequently gaining a degree in City and Regional Planning. I can confidently say I owe this to Taekwondo."
My friend is being bullied and because of this has started to take drugs and drink. He says he can deal with it himself but he seems more tired every day. I want to tell someone but don't want to lose his trust. I wish the bullies would let him have his life back. What should I do?
Your friend is really lucky to have such a caring friend as you. Obviously you can recognise how upset and frightened your friend has been. Bullies shouldn't be allowed to upset people's lives. It's obvious from your letter that you realise that you have to let somebody know about the situation your friend is in. There are a number of people out there who will want to help your friend. Have you thought about telling your teacher or a youth worker at the school? Has your friend got an older brother or sister who you can talk to? There are also a number of agencies such as Childline and NSPCC who you can talk to in total confidence. What is clear is that your friend needs help, he doesn't have to find out that it's you who has spoken to somebody in order to get help, but you have to pass this information on!
My friend has been crying because she is being bullied. She is sad and doesn't want to go to school. She has told her parents but it is still going on. How can I make the bully leave my friend alone?
Most schools have a designated teacher and peer buddy (pupil) who you can talk to. If you do not want to talk to somebody you could place a note in the worry box at your school. You have to let somebody know how unhappy your friend is feeling at the moment. Nobody should be subjected to bullying, you must support your friend by speaking to somebody who can help. Talk to your friend, tell her to try not to cry, if she can avoid it. Bullies love having power over people. When she cries she is giving them what they want. Tell a teacher schools take bullying very seriously. Nobody should be subjected to bullying, as it robs you of your personal power, it leaves you feeling helpless, inferior, shamed, afraid and very angry.
A boy in school bullies me. He calls me names, punches me and pushed me down the stairs. I told a teacher and she spoke to him. This boy still bullies me and now I get called a grass for telling. What can I do?
It's easy for me to say names don't hurt they DO. If this boy has harmed you physically then the school has an obligation to protect you. Go back to the teacher, tell her what has happened and try and involve one of your parents mums are always the best people to have on your side. Perhaps the school could run an 'anti-bullying' workshop for pupils. The sad fact is that bullies are often cowards and have usually been bullied themselves. Bullying others makes them feel better about what they have been through.
Me and my sister are being bullied in school because our mum is disabled and we have to look after her a lot. It's not fair and we just want them to stop but how?
Your school will have a policy for managing this type of behaviour. You need to tell your teachers what is happening to you in order to get it stopped. Perhaps a teacher needs to make the bullies aware of the difficulties of being disabled. Disabilities should be talked about during Personal and Social Education lessons. There are lots of people out there who will be willing to talk to you. Perhaps your teacher could arrange for an external Agency to come in and do some PSE lessons on Disability. There may also be some help available for your mum so please talk to your teachers or school health nurse about this or see the back page for details of organisations who may be able to help.
I am black and my friends make racist comments about me because of my skin colour.
It doesn't matter what colour our skin is, it's who we are, that matters the most. Real friends shouldn't tease you and other people shouldn't get away with calling people names. If it is friends that matter to you who say these things then perhaps you should tell them how it makes you feel and ask them to stop. If they don't stop or if it's a bully then you do need to tell someone such your teacher or a parent. They can help get this sorted out and help you to work out the right things to say, so that the bullies are less likely to enjoy teasing you anymore.
Sadly even these days people often judge others on their appearance, this is a particular problem for people from ethnic minorities. When this happens its called racism. In South East Wales we also have a voluntary organisation called SEWREC that can help people who have experienced racism see back page for details.
I am being forced to smoke cannabis by my friends. If I don't do it they will think I'm not cool and ignore me. I don't really want to do it but how do I stop?
You need to tell your friends that everyone has the right to have their views and opinions listened to and respected. Nobody should be forced to do something against their own will. Try to talk to them, if they are true friends they will respect your decision, if they don't then I am sorry but it is time to find new friends who value your friendship. To own or supply cannabis is still illegal and if the police catch you, you will normally be arrested, taken to the police station and given a warning (if it's your first offence).