The Luckiest Person I Know
Are you fed up with “Junk Mail”? This is my attempt to bring a little comedy to an irritating part of life today.
“The Luckiest Person I Know”
When I was young I didn’t have any money
Instead of a car I had a bike
But today I could have a Rolls Royce if I wanted.
‘Cos they’ll loan me as much as I like.
When I go shopping in town, Tuesday morning
There’s offers to “Buy one get another one Free”
Big signs all over the supermarket
And it’s all especially for little old me!
What did I do to deserve this attention?
Still I’d hate to get someone the sack
That’s why I say “No” at the checkout
When I’m asked if I’d like some cash back!
I don’t know why I’m the one who’s been chosen
I’m sure there’s others as deserving as me
But I get phone calls from all kinds of nice people
Who want to come round and quote me for free.
Each day there’s another half dozen letters
Drop through the door and land on the mat
People who want to bring Chinese or Indian meals,
Build a wall, cut the grass – things like that.
And they say there’s no Community spirit!
Well I just don’t know how they’ve got the cheek.
I’m told how to make money in my spare time
And that “Betterware” man’s round most days of the week.
I’ve turned down hundreds of fabulous holidays
I only have to pick up the phone
And listen to someone talk for ten minutes
But it’d be no fun to go on my own.
Someone in Canada says I’ve won a digital camera
Latest technology worth seven hundred quid!
I’ve never wanted to take up photography
But it would only cost twenty-five pounds if I did.
I’m entered in Lotteries on three different continents
If I win I’ll be over the moon.
With my luck I could end up a millionaire
In fact I’m expecting the good news quite soon!
When I was young nobody wanted to know me
The years ticked by with nothing to show
But now it appears that my luck’s changed,
In fact I’m the luckiest person I know!