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Torfaen Tales


K-Nine was woken by a strange, but persistent buzzing sound emanating from the small speaker in the wall next to him. The buzzing stopped and a reasonable approximation of a human voice spoke to him …

“Wakey ! Wakey ! Tin Dog,” said the ship’s computer.

K-Nine opened his eyes, let out a huge yawn and then trundled slowly from his quarters, along the corridor and into the console room.

“Ah … there you are,” said the computer, “I was wondering when you were going to get up. Good night last night was it ?”

“Er … yes … I think so … what day is it ?”

“Monday,” replied the computer.

“I don’t like Mondays,” grumbled K-Nine.

“That’s because the silicon chip inside your head gets switched to overload,” sang the computer with just a hint of an Irish accent.

“Huh ?” muttered K-Nine.

“Oh never mind, I’ll explain later,” chuckled the computer.

K-Nine wasn’t really in the mood for jokes. He was nursing a mild hangover and had a very busy day ahead of him. The TARDIS was in need of a good spring clean and he also wanted to get a few supplies from Q and B or Housebase in the town centre.

He spent the whole morning tidying up his quarters, workshop and console room and even swept most of the corridors, which for a ship that is significantly bigger on the inside than the outside, is a LOT of corridors !

In the afternoon, he bought some new cleaning materials and a six pack of WD40 (just in case they had run out at the pub). By five o’clock the TARDIS looked clean and tidy again and K-Nine was knackered !

He rested for a couple of hours and then decided he needed to get some fresh air and meet with a few friends for a chat. So, not surprisingly he went to the Bush …

K-Nine rolled rather lethargically into the lower bar. Teeza, the barmaid finished putting some bottles of Bongles cider in the fridge, then turned to him and said, “Are you alright K-Nine ? You look rather tired.”

“Just another manic Monday,” replied the tin dog, “but I am sure I will feel much better after a WD40 and Red Bull.”

“Coming right up. I’ll bring it over to your table if you like.”

“Thank you very much,” said K-Nine.

“No worries, babes,” said the barmaid.

K-Nine moved away from the bar and positioned himself next to the leather sofa by the side wall.

Teeza brought his drink over and placed it on the nearby table.

He was just about to take a sip of his drink when Alvin, one of the regular customers got up from the table near the fireplace and made his way towards the bar. K-Nine noticed that he was walking in a rather unusual way.

“New shoes ?” he enquired.

“Yes, they were a present from North Africa. They are quite comfortable but the only problem is they make you walk like an Egyptian !”

Teeza laughed and then asked Alvin what he would like to drink.

“I’ll have a bottle of cider please, but none of that cloudy Bongles stuff. The last bottle I had looked like a hazy shade of winter.”

Teeza placed a few ice cubes in a pint glass, opened a bottle of Longbow cider and placed them both on the bar.

“By the way, where’s Melanie tonight ?” asked Alvin.

“She managed to get some tickets to see her favourite football team. She’s going down to Liverpool early tomorrow morning so Chris gave her the night off.”

“So there is just you serving tonight then ?”

“Yes, just me … Teeza the trooper.”

“You’re a star Teeza, forever the bright spark behind the bar, like an eternal flame you might say.” The barmaid blushed.

Suddenly there was a strange whirring noise and Teeza noticed that K-Nine’s antenna had begun twitching and he had turned to face the jukebox in the upper bar. Then as if by magic, a track began playing and a gentle and familiar song came through the speakers ... “Close your eyes, give me your hand .”

“Did you do that K-Nine ?” asked Teeza.

“Affirmative, mistress,” replied the tin dog.

“Cheers, babes … you sentimental old soggy dog.”

Now it was K-Nine’s turn to blush, or at least he would have, if his exterior chameleonic circuits had been switched on. He returned to his drink, humming along to the tune playing on the jukebox.

The next few hours were spent happily chatting with Teeza, Alvin and some of the other regulars who turned up later that evening, some later than others. Just before Monday morphed seamlessly into Tuesday morning, K-Nine decided that it was time to leave. As he was going out through the door, Alvin said to him “Hey K-Nine, you really like this place don’t you ?”

“Oh yes,” replied the tin dog, “and to quote the Governor of California … I’ll be back.”

by Nigel Daft

Last Modified on: 05-11-2015

Forthcoming Events

Generation Games Exhibition

27/04/2018 - 28/10/2018
This exhibition is a history of home computer games consoles throughout the ages

Claire Allain - Jewellery Showcase

06/10/2018 - 17/11/2018
Having recently returned to the UK after living in New Zealand for ten years, Claire has been experimenting with new techniques. She has been working with a variety of techniques and marrying metals together to create wearable sculptures or as she likes to call them wearable "Sketches", like little mini contemporary paintings

Eighteen - The Lost Generation - Exhibition

06/10/2018 - 17/11/2018
Almost half a million men enlisted in the first two months of The Great War, however recruitment soon fell dramatically and conscription was introduced in January 1916.Most single men from the ages of 18 to 41 were liable to be called up for service and by the end of war over five million British men had served.

Katharina Klug - Craft Showcase

06/10/2018 - 17/11/2018
Katharina create timeless vessels for contemporary interiors. Each piece is individually made from porcelain on the potter's wheel. Naïve, spontaneous pencil strokes, graphic simple patterns that create movement and direction.
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