After what seemed like a very long week, the last thirty seconds or so of what K-Nine remembered seemed to be replayed before his very eyes. The green liquid in the glass was not glowing quite as bright as before, and K-Nine sensed a strange minty tang in the air.
“I told you that Creme de Menthe was well past its sell by date and should have been thrown away months ago” said the barmaid.
With things returning to normal in the pub, K-Nine decided to wander outside and take a look at the surrounding area. He was rolling steadily down the hill when he was met by a strange looking creature. It was an unusual looking being, young, male, rather unkempt and clad in a brightly coloured shell suit and a backwards pointing baseball cap on his head. As he approached K-Nine he uttered a phrase in a sub-neanderthal grunt “Av you gorra light butt ?”
K-Nine was puzzled - what was this strange creature in front of him saying ? He switched on his universal translator, and it came back with the phrase "Do you have a means of producing fire, my friend ?"
K-Nine nodded, then fired a quick blast from his laser into a nearby pile of rubbish which was strewn along the side of the lane. The assorted crisp and sweet wrappers immediately burst into flames.
“Woh, butt, I said a light, not a bonfire !” exclaimed the shocked local. Despite not being the sharpest knife in the box, the young lad realised that he really ought to try and put out the fire. Not having any water to hand, he decided on a more basic method of spraying the flames with his own 'recycled' lager !
An interesting improvisation, thought K-Nine, but he was still having problems figuring out this strange creature.
“I'm just killing two birds with one stone” explained the local to K-Nine.
This puzzled K-Nine as he could neither see two birds nor a stone, and had no idea why this strange person would want to batter two ornithological creatures to death with a small rock.
The local looked relieved, muttered something along the lines of “Tara butt” and then continued somewhat shakily up the hill.
Suddenly there was a loud ringing noise that reminded K-Nine of the cloister bell in the TARDIS. The deep tone reverberated around the square at the bottom of the hill and seemed to be coming from the small church opposite. K-Nine decided to investigate ....
By Nigel Daft
Last Modified on: 05-11-2015