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Torfaen Tales

Blue Lights

Part 11 of the K-Nine Tales

It was early Saturday morning when K-Nine and his friends finally left the Bush and it would be fair to say that they were all feeling fairly ‘relaxed’.

K-Nine said goodbye to Dirk, Kevin and Harry and watched as they made their way rather unsteadily down the steep hill towards Streetcar Road. He turned right, and started to travel up the country lane when suddenly his traction system failed and he began rolling backwards down the hill.

“Oh boll ..” he cursed as he began to pick up speed. A few seconds later he came to an abrupt halt when he collided with a vehicle that was parked by the bus shelter at the bottom of the lane.

Feeling rather shaken, but not stirred, K-Nine turned round to see what he had hit. It was a medium sized white car with a bright blue and yellow pattern down the side. It also had a blue flashing light on the roof which reminded him of the TARDIS.

A uniformed gentleman got out of the car. He walked round to the passenger side and examined the dent in the door. He looked rather sternly at K-Nine and said “Hello, hello, what have we here then?”

“An unfortunate accident ” suggested K-Nine rather sheepishly, which was quite a good impression for a robot dog who hadn’t actually met any sheep.

“That may be so,” said the man “But you appear to be well-oiled."

“Negative” replied K-Nine “I’ve only had one small glass of WD40. I’ve been drinking Crow Valley bitter the rest of the evening."

“Really, in that case would you care to blow into this for me sir?” The man held out a small meter with a plastic tube attached. K-Nine went to blow into the tube as requested but accidently fired a quick blast from his laser instead. The meter burst into flames, the man screamed, and then threw the burnt and molten remains to the ground.

“Hey, that’s valuable police property you‘ve just destroyed !” he shouted.

“Apologies,” said K-Nine “Equipment malfunction.”

The man wrapped his wounded hand in a square of white material he had taken from his trouser pocket. He turned to K-Nine and said “I guess you will just have to provide a blood sample instead."

“Negative,” replied K-Nine “My internal functions are assisted by hydraulic fluids only."

“That does it!” said the man “Any more trouble from you and I’m taking you to the station."

K-Nine was puzzled. He failed to see how being transported to a place where large vehicles on tracks stopped to pick up or deposit passengers would be of any help in the current situation.

He was just about to mention this to the policeman when a young person on a loud two wheeled motorised vehicle came speeding down the road on the left.

“Stop!” the policeman screamed at the motorcyclist.

The young man on the bike spotted the police car, turned sharply and began heading back up the road towards the mountain.

“May I be of assistance?” asked K-Nine.

“Only if you can stop that biker” replied the policeman.

K-Nine turned to his left, took aim and fired a blast from his laser towards the rear the bike. The back tyre exploded and the rider was thrown into the hedge at the side of the road.

“Nice shot,” said the policeman as he walked towards the young man. He looked down at the dazed biker and said “Gotcha”. He then picked him up from the ground, removed various bits of hedge from his jacket, and escorted him back to the police car. After bundling the young man into the back seat, the policeman turned to K-Nine and said “Nice work. We’ve been trying to catch one of these bikers for ages. They are a real nuisance round here, racing round the mountain and spoiling the woodlands for the locals”.

“Glad to be of help” said K-Nine.

The policeman carefully considered the night’s events and the additional paperwork that would be required and said to K-Nine “I think under the circumstances we can forget about the little accident with the breathalyser and the dent in my car door, and I’ll let you off with a warning”.

“That’s very kind of you” said K-Nine.

The policeman was just about to drive off when K-Nine remembered what had caused him to roll down the hill in the first place. “Excuse me sir, any chance of a lift as I am experiencing difficulties getting up this steep hill.”

“I’m not surprised after what you’ve been drinking tonight” laughed the policeman.

He picked up K-Nine, placed him gently on the passenger seat and then drove up the narrow lane. He stopped next to the TARDIS which was standing at the side of the road.

“Is this where you live ?” he asked.

“Affirmative” replied K-Nine.

The policeman lifted K-Nine out of the car. He looked at the TARDIS and said “There’s something rather familiar about this blue box, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.”

K-Nine wondered why the policeman wanted to touch his ship, but he was feeling tired and decided that sleep was preferable to asking any further questions. “Thanks for the lift ossifer” he said as the policeman drove away.

K-Nine gave a short whistle to unlock the door and then trundled inside the TARDIS. He made his way slowly towards his private quarters, occasionally bumping into the sides of the corridors as he went. Within ten minutes he was fast asleep …

By Nigel Daft

Last Modified on: 05-11-2015

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