Sci-Fi Fantasy

Behind Closed Claws

Hermit's best friend is a crab, a hermit crab to be exact! Or, to be precise Hermit's best friends are a bunch of hermit crabs.

Like mice out of The Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy, hermit crabs have been overlooked as far as intelligence is concerned and certainly as far as the galaxy is concerned, hermit crabs rank as the only species to ever evolve from a primordial soup.

Supporting Hermit the crabs provide a vast plethora of knowledge, experience and shear blazing intelligence that help Hermit in his everyday quest for peaceful solitude.

So, who are the infamous five, well there's Mr Z, Baron O, Doctor N, Professor P and Miss C. Together they form the H Team.

Mr Z

Mr ZMr. Z has become a legend, a myth, and a conundrum throughout every dimension. the stories of his exploits have fascinated and amazed his followers across the space/time continuum. Now, for the first time, he reveals his true identity and explains how it all began.

Mr. Z's mysterious origin begins in Dimension Z, from which he takes his name.

While rocketing close to a quasar, a cosmic flare solarized and transcosmogated* Mr.Z With his unparalleled powers to predict the future of all other beings, Mr.Z assembled a team of experts to assist him in his quest to bring consciousness to others......but, when that failed because no one would listen, he started giving horoscope readings.

Now Mr. Z and his little band of fearless frolickers traverse the universe dispensing justice, truth, honor, humility, hope, Beanie Babies, and astrological readings.

The transcosmogation of this humble yet lovable crab has forever changed the fate of beings everywhere.

*Transcosmogation: When a being becomes psychically connected to all of his dopplegangers in other dimensions, one consciousness is formed that has the intelligence, insight, experience, and knowledge of all his dimensional doubles.

Baron O

Baron OBaron O has a rich, blue-blood heritage. He is a direct descendent of the Royal House of Pancakes.

The Baron's upbringing has resulted in him often acting like a pompous ass, but Hermit and the rest of the team know it's only an act.

He first showed his military genius when he lead the regiment of Royal Marines into a victory at the Battle of Buster Britches.

As Supreme Commander, Baron O planned and executed the War on marshmallows, the Naughty Children's Assault, and the Siege on Hallmark Cards.

When he's not invading a neighboring galaxy or working with Hermit, Baron O is honing his skills as a professional ventriloquist. He's even written a book on the subject, Ventriloquism Made Easy or Dummies For Dummies

Dr N

Dr NDr. N is an integral part of Hermit's team of experts. Dr. N has an extensive medical background, which includes the first artichoke-to-human heart transplant and discovery of the Fequil Virus*

He has dabbled in cloning, genetic engineering, bio-nonotechnics, and raising sea monkeys.

When he's not saving lifeforms or creating new ones, he can be found on the golf course.

*Fequil Virus: Causes carbon-based lifeforms to wear bow-ties and eat chocolate raisons.

Professor P

Professor PAs a child prodige, Professor P's claim to fame was winning the Twelve Galaxy Spelling Bee by being the only contestant to successsfully spell the name of the artist formerly known as Prince.

He went on to earn degrees in Astrophysics, Cosmo-computer Science, Electrozoology, Robotic Husbandry, and Kinesiology*.

Prof. P is responsible for the amazing gadgets and gizmos used by Hermits team.

Though sometimes stuffy and always long-winded, Professor P is a lovable father-figure that holds the deepest respect of the entire Hermit team.

* Kinesiology: The degree formerly known as P.E.

Miss C

Miss CBorn into a circus family, Miss C became a trapeze artist at a very young age. She extended her skills into tightrope walking and contortionism*

After leaving the circus, she studied martial arts under Yoda from whom she recieved a lightsaber in record time.

Miss C may have a romantic interest in Hermit, she seems to enjoy the provocative banter that the two often exchange.

* Miss C was the stand-in for Sheila The Inhuman Pretzel

Last Modified on: 05-12-2018